Many people who want to make changes and improvements to their careers, hold themselves back because of a past adverse experience that they have blown out of perspective.
They may not even realise that this is what is holding them back. They just know that having gone through a previous bad experience; they are not going to put themselves in a similar situation again.
They’d rather stay in a job that is dissatisfying, which over time, chips away at their self-confidence, rather than expose themselves to the possibility of going through anything similar to that previous negative experience again.
When we are in situations that cause us discontent and are unfulfilling, the longer we stay there, the more dissatisfied and miserable we become. We can then end up stuck in a rut which can lead to low motivation and stress if left to fester. Some people may seek something to distract them from the negative situation that gives momentary pleasure. Often these distractions may not be good for them in the long term.
Are you letting the past dictate who you are or what you do?
Too often we let what has happened in the past dictate who we are and what we do, even if there is no evidence to support our belief or way of thinking. Or we distort things to fit our beliefs.
Jenny was unhappy in her job and had been for some time. She was a very creative person, but the job didn’t allow her to use her creativity. She’d had an idea to start a business for a long time but was scared to pursue her business idea in case it didn’t work out and she ended up unemployed. A situation she had experienced a few years earlier when she had been unemployed for a short period.
But she had every chance that she would succeed at this based on her track record to date. Despite not enjoying her job, she was doing extremely well in it. Rather than focusing on the fact that starting a business could work, she chose to focus on it not working.
Many people do the same thing
And she is not alone. Many people do the same thing. Fretting and worrying about the worst possible outcome rather than being optimistic that it might just work out.
Why do we do this? When we are faced with making a significant change, we don’t know what the outcome will be, and we worry about the fear of the unknown. We like to be in control of our situations, and we like to know what’s around the corner and what is going to happen next. When we don’t know, it is a threat to our sense of personal security. We panic, we don’t think rationally, and we believe that we won’t survive.
Or we let a previous bad experience cloud our judgement and hold ourselves back, fearful of putting ourselves at risk of getting into that same situation again.
How many of you are in jobs that you don’t enjoy, feel unfulfilled with, and want to change but are scared to make a change in case it doesn’t work out because of a previous bad experience?
How rational is your thinking
How much of your thinking that it won’t work out is based on a realistic and rational observation?
In the situation I described with Jenny, she had only been out of work for a very small fraction of her entire career, other than that, she had always been able to get work.
You are a lot more resourceful than you probably allow yourself to take credit for and when faced with adverse situations, you do have it within you to find a solution. You’ve just got to believe in yourself and your abilities.
Think back over your life to all the times when you thought you weren’t going to be able to get through a situation, but you did anyway. What did you draw upon back then? Who supported you then? What can you take from how you approached and got through that situation and apply it to your current situation?
Be optimistic
If you think that it’s not going to work out, chances are it won’t. Or chances are you will never even get started.
But what if it did work?
Look at the opportunities that have come your way so far (this doesn’t just have to be work-related). Imagine if you hadn’t taken them because you believed that it wouldn’t work out. How do you know that making a change now won’t be a success for you?
Focus on the possibilities and the opportunities that could arise if you go for it. What difference will it make to your life? What difference will it make to your fulfilment? What can you do to mitigate the chances of the worst possible outcome that you imagine happening?
If you want to make a change but are scared of doing so because you are worried about the outcome, like Jenny, how can you put your situation into perspective? If the worst possible outcome was to happen, what could you do?
Create an action plan
Research possible alternative roles and get clear about what it is that you want to do next. If you are unsure what you want to do, get support to help you gain clarity about what it is that you want. Identify the skills you have that are transferrable and those that you need to develop and create an action plan that will enable you to make that career change.
Network and develop relationships with people who can give you first-hand information about working in the particular field you want to work in. You never know, they may be able to connect you with the right people or inform you when opportunities arise.
Researching and planning will help to demystify the changes you want to make, making that change seem less scary, and helping you to feel confident and optimistic about making that move.
How have you previously addressed your fears about making a career change? I would love to know so please let me know in the comments. Your experience may encourage someone else who reads it.
First published on LinkedIn.
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