Can I stop being introverted? That is a question I am frequently asked. Before I share my thoughts on that question, I want to explore why someone who is introverted may ask this question in the first place. In my experience, it is often because they view introversion as a negative.
Because introversion is often not viewed favourably as a leadership quality in many parts of the world, this can lead some people who are introverted to want to change their personality to something else. Rather than seeing the strengths that come with being introverted, they focus on those elements that they think are weaknesses.
I sometimes have introverted people tell me that they have ‘gotten over their introversion’. Which, because introversion is not something you need to get over, makes me think that they do not really understand what introversion is.
Something which I can relate to. Back in the day when I was a senior leader in an organisation, I didn’t really understand what it was either. I had heard many (what I now know are misconceptions) negative things associated with being introverted.
That was why, when I did the Myers Briggs test and came out as ISTJ, I didn’t want to own my results. It was not something that I initially wanted to be associated with. But there was no getting away from it.
It was once I got a better understanding of what introversion was and wasn’t, that I embraced it and saw my introversion as a strength.
Different schools of thought have different views on whether a person’s personality remains the same throughout their lives. There are those who think that personality traits are biological, and stable over time and in different situations.
Other schools of thought approach personality differently. For example, the social cognitive view is that personality is shaped through learning from others as well as our own lived experience. With different social conditions impacting who and what someone is. Through cognitive processing, we respond to things that happen to us externally and internally, and are able to influence our own motivation, behaviour, and personality.
Many employers use personality assessments in the recruitment and selection process to screen candidates and get an indication as to how they will act and behave in certain situations. This can be problematic at times because personality traits can be used to stereotype.
Assumptions can be made about a person because of their personality trait, and as a result, they are treated less favourably. Something that is sometimes seen where introversion is not seen as a leadership quality.
Although you may act and behave differently in different environments, you may find that you have a common way of behaving in certain situations most of the time. It is possible for people to give false responses to personality tests so that they appear more socially desirable.
People can learn to modify their behaviour. For example, knowing that introversion is not valued, they can learn to display extroverted behaviours so that they are treated more favourably.
For many years it was thought that personality was set in stone, however, that view is changing. One study carried out over a 50-year period suggested that while certain aspects of personality remain stable over time, other aspects do change.
So, can someone stop being introverted? I think that whilst someone who is introverted being overly stimulated by certain external stimuli may not change, we do learn to modify how we act, respond, and behave.
I say, don’t desire to stop being introverted, rather embrace the introvert that you are, and learn to adapt and modify your behaviour in different situations in order to get the best outcomes.
What would you say to someone who asks, ‘can I stop being introverted?’
First published on LinkedIn.
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