I once had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Raj Rathod, a man who has overcome significant adversity and has an incredible rags to riches story. Despite his tremendous success, he remains very humble and clearly hasn't forgotten where he has come from as evidenced in the work he does to support the community that he grew up in.
Born in a remote village in India to very humble beginnings, suffering physical abuse at the hands of his father, unable to go to school because the nearest one was too far away, running away from home at the age of 13, sleeping on the streets, catching TB, these are just some of the challenges and struggles this man faced on his journey.
But yet he managed to climb out of poverty and is now the proud owner of Cafe Zest, a vibrant health food restaurant in North West London, and he’s in the process of expanding his business further. He continues to provide for the village that he grew up in, providing them with the essential amenities that many of us take for granted.
No doubt Raj has met many challenges and obstacles along the way but his steely determination has got him to where he is now.
There are valuable lessons to learn from his story, which many women, myself included, can learn a thing or two from. His is a story of resilience, determination and not giving up. Here are my thoughts on some of the lessons that can be taken from his journey.
When the going gets tough, don’t give up
It is far too easy when you get a knock back or a setback to give up striving for your goals and to develop a sense of apathy. But imagine if Raj had given up? Imagine if at 13 years old he had resigned himself to the life he was living and accepted that as his lot.
With success comes rejection and failure. Rather than viewing these as negatives, fearing them and letting them hold you back, view them as lessons and opportunities to learn and to grow.
Be a survivor of your circumstances rather than a victim. Let faith and hope be an integral part of your thinking, because as long as you have hope you will seek alternative ways and opportunities to achieve your goals.
And sometimes, the reality is that you may have to let go of a goal if it is too unrealistic, or you may need to re-evaluate and readjust things along the way.
Success doesn't happen overnight
Behind every success story is a journey of struggle to get there and unless you’re going to come up with a totally new, innovative concept, success is not going to happen overnight.
In some ways, through the elevated social media ‘success stories’ that are constantly in our faces, we have created a culture that makes people less resilient. We see too much of the glamour and less of the struggle that it has taken for people to achieve their success.
Many women end up comparing themselves to these glamour stories then beat themselves up because they’re not there yet. They believe that they will never make it, or that they’re not good enough because they are not up there as well.
Behind every success story there has been many a sleepless night and hard slog that has got them to where they are today.
Success leaves clues
Too often we idolise ‘gurus’ who talk about how successful they are and how much millions they’re making, telling you that you too can earn a 7 figure income if you do what they tell you to do. Whilst there are genuine ones who really do have your best interest at heart, there are also many who don’t. Some of them are struggling just like you so you need to separate the wheat from the chaff.
When I started out in business, my mentor Sonia Brown MBE would always say to me, ‘success leaves clues’. Success speaks for itself and if someone is truly successful, would they really be telling the world in this way?
Remember, success leaves clues and all that glitters is not gold.
Get out of the way of you
I’m not good enough... I’ll never be able to... It’s because of my upbringing... There’s too much competition... Are these some of the stories that you tell yourself? If so, you need to get out of the way of you.
You’re getting in the way of achieving your success, whatever that means to you. Self doubt and self limiting beliefs like this will only hold you back. You need to change that unhelpful thinking and change those unhelpful beliefs about yourself if you want to achieve your success.
And it’s not just a matter of telling yourself positive affirmations. Unless you change those unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, you may continuously hold yourself back. If you need help with this, contact me here.
Look fear in the face
If you want to achieve success, you need to confront your fears and deal with them if you are to get on. Stepping out in to unknown territory may seem very scary. But you’re not going to stretch yourself and achieve your goals from inside your comfort zone.
Often when we’re fearful of making a change and going after what it is that we really want, it’s because we’re imagining the worst possible outcome. In reality the worst possible outcome may not even happen. And in the event that it did, you are a resourceful person and have it within you to turn your situation around.
Yes you will get knock backs, yes all eyes will be on you. You may even get people saying ‘who the hell does she think she is’, but if you really do want it you have got to go for it and only you can do that.
Create your own definition of success, based on what really matters to you and don’t be defined by what other people say success should mean for you. Don’t hold back, go after it and most definitely, don’t get in the way of you.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.