Whether introverted or extroverted, great leaders are able to command the room with their presence. But commanding the room with their presence, so they have the influence and impact they want is something many leaders struggle with.
Commanding the room is not about the command and control leadership of years gone by. It is about those in the room having the respect and confidence in you, that assures them you are an authority in what you do. It is about asserting yourself and exerting control in a positive way.
It is having people ready, willing, and wanting to listen to what you have to say. Not out of fear. Not because they feel they have to. But because they desire to.
The way most meetings are conducted do not create the optimal environment for the thinking style of an introverted leader. As a result, you may find yourself disengaging and not saying what you would really like to say. When in board meetings, the presence of louder personalities that are domineering can be overbearing. Where they are more senior than you, you may even find it intimidating. Rather than confidently asserting yourself in such settings, you retreat and play it small.
Understand the power of the pause
If you are struggling to command the room and have the influence and impact you want in board meetings, do you know about the power of the pause?
The pause is a great tool to have in your leadership toolkit and can be used when you are in meetings, delivering presentations or talks and you want your presence to command the room.
I have had many introverted leaders tell me that they look at their extroverted colleagues who can speak off the cuff and talk non-stop and wish they too could be like that. They say this because they think they will come across better as leaders. But what they don’t realise is that their thinking style is different to their extroverted colleagues.
When their extroverted colleagues are speaking off the cuff, responding on the spot, they are often thinking and processing their thoughts at the same time. Then they get to the crunch of what they want to say. Whereas they (the introverts) whose thinking is done in their heads, when they do speak, they give their ‘crunch.’
The pause is a tool you can use to collect your thoughts, to create presence, and to give space for the listeners to reflect and digest what you have said. A pause before saying something profound can make it have greater impact. Likewise, pausing after making a profound statement, gives the listener time to absorb and take it all in.
When someone fires a question or comment at you, your initial reaction may be to fire back a response. Rather than firing back, pause. Pausing helps you to playback in your mind what they have said, and that reflection helps to increase your awareness of where they are coming from and why they may be acting the way they are.
A pause can make you more impactful with your delivery when public speaking
A lot of people think they should not leave gaps when public speaking and will try to fill natural pauses with unnecessary filler words. If you are nervous, you may find yourself rushing what you have to say, wanting to hurry and get it over and done with.
To the observer, this does not give the impression of someone who is collected and in control. And it certainly does not give off a presence that commands the room.
Slowing things down and interjecting your talk with pauses, not only helps to steady your nerves and ease the stress, it also gives you time to breathe and recollect your thoughts. Imagine how much calmer, collected and confident you will appear, rather than gushing out what you have to say.
Examples of introverted leaders who understand the power of the pause
An example of an introverted leaders using a pause to recollect their thoughts and then come with a considered response is this video of Justin Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister. He doesn’t rush to answer the question put to him, he pauses for 21 seconds and then starts his response quite profoundly. Responding in this way, made people attentive to listen.
Former US president Barack Obama, another introverted leader, is well known for his pauses and this video highlights some of his best ones.
Barack Obama’s pauses help to engage his audience. There have been research studies about his pauses. One study in Denmark confirmed what numerous other studies about pause had found about the importance of pause in delivering a message in a successful way.
So, the next time you are delivering a presentation to the board, and you want to command the room with your presence, and be influential and impactful, remember the power of the pause.
Is a pause something you use to be more impactful when speaking? If not, how can you interject pauses when speaking, to help you command the room?
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.