I get asked many questions on the topic of introversion either through this newsletter, DMs and emails, as well as the talks, workshops, and webinars that I deliver. Questions range from leading as an introverted woman (or man), leading introverts, making the workplace more inclusive for introverts, overcoming imposter syndrome when introverted, and much more.
In this week's newsletter, I am sharing questions and answers that arose whilst delivering my talk The Power of Introversion and Acting Authentically to an organisation this week, questions of which I am asked time and time again when delivering talks.
It is great that the organisations who are increasingly inviting me to speak on the topic of introversion are taking positive steps to make sure that they are inclusive employers in all aspects.
1) Can naturally quiet people still lead?
Yes, naturally quiet people can still lead. Historically in parts of the world, leadership has tended to be associated with being alpha and gregarious. However, certain parts of the world, such as some Nordic countries, China and Japan, value introversion as a leadership quality.
Some of the great leaders of our time are said to be introverted. This includes Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Mark Zucherberg, Barak Obama, and there are more…
Leaders should have the emotional intelligence, and self-awareness to know when they may need to modify their behaviour according to the environment and situation that they are in. This is applicable for ALL leaders whether introvert or extrovert.
This may require stepping out of their comfort zone on occasions and doing things that don’t come naturally. This does not mean acting inauthentically or changing who they are.
2) Is it possible to be introverted but come across as extroverted - is this a defence mechanism some people have?
Some introverted people put on an extroverted persona because they believe that is required of them, or what is needed. Over time, this can be draining if they are constantly in environments where there is a lot of activity going on that is external to their minds and overly stimulating.
Some introverted people may naturally display what are typically described as extroverted behaviours in certain situations and environments. They may find that afterwards, they need time alone to recharge because it has depleted their energy levels.
3) Can introverts be subject to social anxiety?
Yes, introverts can be subject to social anxiety. However social anxiety and introversion are not the same thing. The American Psychological Association (APA) describes social anxiety as ‘fear of social situations in which embarrassment may occur (e.g., making conversation, meeting strangers, dating) or there is a risk of being negatively evaluated by others (e.g., seen as stupid, weak, or anxious). Social anxiety involves apprehensiveness about one’s social status, role, and behavior. When the anxiety causes an individual significant distress or impairment in functioning, a diagnosis of social phobia may be warranted.’
The APA describes introversion as ‘n. orientation toward the internal private world of one’s self and one’s inner thoughts and feelings, rather than toward the outer world of people and things. Introversion is a broad personality trait and, like extraversion, exists on a continuum of attitudes and behaviors. Introverts are relatively more withdrawn, retiring, reserved, quiet, and deliberate; they may tend to mute or guard expression of positive affect, adopt more skeptical views or positions, and prefer to work independently. [concept originated by Carl Jung for the study of personality types] —introversive adj. —introvert n. —introverted adj.’
4) Can introverts become more extrovert once they are comfortable in their surroundings / known people for a while but still introvert in certain situations?
Many introverted people find that when they are familiar with their surroundings and people, they find it easier to interact and engage. Particularly if it is a smaller group. So it’s not that they become more extroverted, it’s that because they may appear more sociable, this may be perceived as being more extroverted. This is because they display behaviours that are typically associated with extroversion.
5) Do you need to be more resilient if you are more introverted than extroverted?
This is not something that I am in a position to give a straight yes or no answer to, as a lot will depend on the circumstances and experiences people face. However, a research study from 2021 suggests that they are. You can read about it at psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202202/why-introverts-may-be-more-resilient-everyone-else.
6) What are your top tips for an introvert to excel alongside extroverts in the workplace?
My top tips to excel in the workplace include:
- Have a vision and a plan for what it is that you want to achieve in your career and take the required action to achieve it.
- Develop the right mindset. Namely, address any self-limiting beliefs (if you have any), develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence, utilise your strengths, and be able to self-regulate.
- Be visible and let your voice be heard and be assertive.
- Self-promote in ways that feel authentic, and showcase your thought leadership, knowledge, and expertise.
- Develop and utilise your network and develop good interpersonal relationships with colleagues and stakeholders.
- Take the lead on projects and initiatives.
- Be solution focused, identifying new and improved ways of doing things. And either implement them, or if outside your remit, put your ideas and suggestions forward.
- Get a sponsor, a mentor, and if needed, a coach.
- Be yourself
7) If most leaders are extrovert, how do you change their mindset? Few extroverts would sign up to this talk thinking it does not apply to them, when does.
Perhaps you could take some of the information gleaned from this talk and write an article for a newsletter, the intranet or other platform within the organisation, something that is seen by everyone. Or think of different ways in which you can communicate the message.
Having more conversations that help to increase awareness about the unfavourable bias in the workplace towards introversion will help to inform others. Everyone can do their part no matter how big or how small.
8) What is the difference between introvert and not having confidence in all aspects not just working environment specific?
Introversion and a lack of confidence are not the same thing. A lack of confidence could arise because the person does not have the experience, skills or knowledge. Or it could be because the person has self-doubt, or because of fear. Do not mistake a lack of competence for a lack of confidence. Identifying whether it is confidence or competence that is needed.
If it is competence then develop what is needed (e.g. training, studying, practice, shadowing, coaching, etc). If it is confidence due to self-doubt or fear, if they are unable to address it on their own, they could benefit from coaching.
9) I have two children: a clear introvert and the other one a total extrovert: how can I help them thrive in their own authentic selves?
Allow them to be themselves. Nurture and encourage their strengths, the things that they are good at and enjoy doing. Instil self-belief in them by letting them know that they are good enough. Listen to them and let them feel heard. Encourage them to do the same with each other.
10) Do introverts prefer working from home / extroverts working in the office?
It is not clear cut black or white because there may be many factors that influence a preference for them. If the office environment is one that is overly stimulating, then introverts may prefer to work from home. However, they may want to be able to do a bit of both so that they still maintain some social contact with colleagues. Extroverts may prefer the office because they are energised by being around other people. However, there may be occasions where they would prefer to be at home.
What questions do you have, or what responses do you have to these questions? Let me know in the comments.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.