In an ideal world everyone would be mindful of different thinking and communicating styles, and meetings would be more inclusive to accommodate them. But unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world and increasingly people want to consume information quicker and quicker.
Some people become impatient in meetings with those who take longer to communicate their message. Instead of embracing different communication styles, they disengage, and the speaker loses their attention.
One challenge many introverted leaders face is that other people are not always appreciative of their communication style. As such as a communicator, if you want your message to be heard, it is down to you to read the room and be aware of when people have switched off from what you are saying. Adapting your communication style can re-engage them.
I often have clients who tell me that they think they ramble on unnecessarily which makes what they are saying less impactful. We all have a preferred way of communicating information, and a preference to the way in which we receive it.
In a meeting you will have a variety of communication styles, so it is helpful to develop your self-awareness of how well (or not) those in the room are receiving what you have to say.
If you think that you ramble on in meetings, first, ask yourself what evidence is there to support this view? I've had many coaching clients who have said that they think they take a long time to get to the point of what they are saying. But when I challenged them, there was no evidence to support this view.
Because their speaking performance in meetings isn't as they would like it to be, they imagined the worst. However, if the evidence does show that you ramble on and it affects your speaking performance, here are some suggestions as to what you can do about it.
Prepare in advance
Whilst it’s not necessary to learn what you want to say word for word for your meetings, you might find practicing what you want to say in advance helpful. If you know you tend to ramble, advance preparation means you’re more likely to stay on track. This is particularly helpful if you sometimes struggle with what to say, or over talk because you are nervous.
Having a few bullet points on a notepad or post-it notes in front of you can serve as prompts for you to expand on.
Calm your nerves
For some people nervous energy causes them to ramble, and if this happens to you when you are nervous practice techniques to keep yourself calm. Making use of pauses, slowing down your breath, and not letting your thoughts go 10 to the dozen will help you to stay relaxed. If you are less anxious your communication will be much clearer.
Some people talk faster when they are nervous as if they want to hurry up and finish what they are saying, but this doesn’t come across well to their audience. Rather than speeding up, slow things down.
You take too long to labour your point
If you take too long to get to the point you will lose your audience and they will switch off. You can tell when people are starting to disengage so keep an eye out as to whether you are losing their attention.
Signs that you are losing your audience’s attention could include:
- They are falling asleep
- They have a distant look on their face
- They keep looking at their phone and seem more interested in that
- They look bored
- They keep finishing your sentences because they want you to hurry up
When you notice people switching off, do something so they switch themselves back on.
Be aware of the different communication styles in the room
If you regularly attend meetings with the same group of people, over time you will become aware of their preferred communication styles, if you pay attention. Years ago, there was someone for whom I became aware they had a preference for short and snappy communications that got straight to the point.
I was aware that when explaining something complex, I had a tendency to repeat myself, wanting to make sure my point came across clear. I would see their eyes roll as if to say, hurry up and say what you’ve got to say. With this awareness, I was able to adapt my communication style, so my messages held their attention and were more impactful.
Cater for different communication styles
If you don’t know the preferred communication styles of the people in the meeting, flex your style to accommodate the different preferences. You could Start with a brief summary for those who like things snappy and to the point, so they get the main focus of your message speedily.
Then elaborate with a bit more information for those with a preference for a more detailed communication.
Frame your message to keep it succinct
Framing your message can serve as an aide to keep it succinct. This is particularly helpful if you are put on the spot because it helps you keep your response to the point. The PREP framework is recommended by Toastmasters.
Whilst they suggest using it when making a speech, it can also be used to help communicate a message succinctly in a meeting and is as follows:
- Point – start with a clear point
- Reason – briefly explain your reason for this topic
- Example – support your reason with an example or evidence
- Point – summarise your point
We all have a preferred communication style and there is no right way or wrong way. Different styles are just, different. Having an awareness of how your audience prefers to be communicated with, and adapting your style, accordingly, will make you a more influential and impactful communicator.
Likewise, if you allow someone to communicate with you in their preferred style, they are more likely to feel like they have been listened to, which helps to increase your influence.
Knowing yourself is to understand yourself. Understanding yourself is to be your best self and if you are an introverted woman and a senior leader, to learn the number one strategy introverted women use to accelerate their influence and impact as senior leaders (which includes being authentic), join my next free, live webinar here.
How aware are you of how well (or not) your communication style is received by colleagues in the meetings you attend and what do you do to adapt it? Let me know in the comments.
First published on LinkedIn.
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