On the Quietly Visible podcast earlier in the year, my guest was Alexandra Bond Burnett, a speaking and impact coach for finance professionals, and we discussed speaking confidently.
Alexandra started out her career in corporate finance and worked her way up. A car crash in her mid-20s, woke Alexandra up to the fact that she was not doing what she really wanted to do with her life, and she made some big changes. She went to drama school to pursue a career in the performing arts.
Whether it is speaking up in board meetings, or public speaking in front of a larger audience, speaking up confidently and being influential and impactful with it, is something many introverted women find challenging. Here are some of the highlights from our discussion:
Public speaking is a type of performance
It is as if we have this inbuilt musical instrument in the way we communicate. We don't expand on it to make an impact when we speak. Public speaking is a type of performance. Find the confidence to be you and use your voice in a natural way that amplifies what you're trying to say.
Whether it is a boardroom or a Zoom Room, meetings are a space where people come together to communicate, to connect, to influence, and affect one another. Our voices tell us so much about each other as human beings. As we talk, we listen to how someone speaks and the pitch that they use. It is not just what they say, but how they make you feel about it as well.
How we use our voice can help us to influence others. Whether it be guiding or leading people, whether it is an activity, an idea, or data, we can utilise our voice to influence effectively. This doesn't mean you have to be loud or have to be a big personality on stage.
The challenge for many introverts is, they typically don’t enjoy being in the spotlight
The finance profession, from accounting to in house is going through a ginormous change in terms of the skillsets. We are now asking people who are very task focused, to be more engaging and interactive, in terms of having very strategic stakeholder relationships. Partnering within the entire organisation and being more influential and telling more stories with the data so that people can make decisions. They are also talking to more non finance people, as a result, there is a greater need for a different skillset, of which speaking is one of them.
The challenge for some introverts is, they typically don’t enjoy being in the spotlight. It is not that they can’t do it, spending too long in the spotlight can be draining.
To have executive presence, you do not need to be a loud voice or a huge character. The most powerful person in the room, could be the quietest, if they have presence.
Putting yourself out there can feel like exposure
The fear of the unknown through putting yourself out there can feel like exposure. You're standing there and people can judge you, and that is what many people fear. In order to manage a fear of speaking, manage your focus. This is what Alexandra calls positioning.
If you are delivering a talk or a presentation, imagine an archer aiming at a target. You can see the bull's eye, you can see the target with the circles in the middle, and that round circle in the middle of that target point. And in that target point, think about your audience. Your target is where you want them to land. What are you trying to get them to achieve? If you focus on that target, it carries you through.
Put aside what's going on with you, namely speaking fear or anxiety, nerves, or discomfort. Look at the target and what you want your audience/stakeholders to leave with. What value are you imparting? How do you want them to, to feel? Where do you want to direct them? Then position yourself, and your body language to achieve this.
For a more grounded voice, let your voice come from your chest rather than the front of your mouth. To practice this, put your hand on your chest and try to get your voice coming out of your chest rather than from the front of your mouth. You can change the sounds accordingly.
When you do this and make it all about your audience, and not about you, it can (as Alexandra says), make you feel amazingly confident and grounded.
Pause to regain control
If your mind goes blank or you lose your way, pausing can help you regain control over the situation and yourself. Whether you are performing on stage or in the boardroom, there is a common saying that people only know if you mess up if you tell them.
Think about what happens to you physically and in your mindset before you speak. What happens when you're about to speak up? What happens when you do a presentation? How do you feel? What happens in your body language? Does your adrenaline start pumping? Do you feel like you don't want to move at all? Do you feel like your voice is very flat and no one wants to listen to you? What's happening there? Because when you explore those thoughts, then you can challenge them and say, is that true?
Film yourself speaking and play it back. It can be uncomfortable to watch the playback, but it is a great way to get feedback of how you come across when you speak.
For more nuggets from Alexandra, listen to the full podcast episode here. If you enjoy it, rate it, subscribe to it, and share it, this helps new listeners find the show.
What are your best speaking tips? If you loathe it, what is it about it that you do not enjoy?
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.