Sleepless nights, dry flaky scalp, breakouts of blotchy skin… these were the symptoms of the stress my client was experiencing as a result of changes being made at work.
The organisation was going through a restructure and she had to re–apply for her job. There were 5 people competing for 2 positions, meaning 3 people would have to be let go. My client had convinced herself that it would be her that would be unsuccessful.
Her story is not uncommon to many people that I coach who are going through change. We are creatures of habit and we like to be in control of our circumstances. We like to know what lies ahead.
When that control is threatened and there is uncertainty about the future, we panic. It is a threat to our sense of personal security and we imagine the worst possible outcome will happen. For my client, she had convinced herself that she was going to fail the interview and lose her job.
When going through change it’s easy to imagine the worst
When we are faced with change that takes us into the unknown it can be far too easy to imagine that the worst is going to happen. This could be changes that you are going through at work, it could be changes that you want to make because you are unhappy and unfulfilled in what you do, it could be changes you want to make in leaving employment and starting your own business. Because you cannot see what lies ahead, it may make you feel like you’re not in control.
In situations that we perceive to be a threat to our physical survival, our fight or flight instinct kicks in as toxic stress hormones flow through our bodies. We focus on our short term survival rather than the longer-term consequences of our beliefs and choices.
If you can ease off wanting to be in control of everything, it will make it easier for you to embrace change. When we are faced with change, the way we talk to ourselves about what will happen determines how we feel about it, and in doing so how we act and behave. Just focusing on the worst possible outcome is likely to leave you feeling stressed, anxious, powerless, and fearful.
If you can view the change more optimistically, you will be more open to identifying opportunities that lie ahead for you.
Would you rather be optimistic and hopeful or stressed and feeling hopeless?
The organisation that I had worked in was restructuring. There was talk of job cuts and my post was to be deleted. I saw this as an opportunity for me to pursue something that I was passionate about and to start my own business. One of my colleagues on the other hand was not optimistic, was having sleepless nights, and was very stressed.
I firmly believe that with every change there is opportunity, we just need to be open to see the opportunities that exist. In the organisation that I worked in prior to starting my business, I got promoted 4 times as a result of opportunities which came about as a result of organsiational change. If you just focus on the worst possible situation, you won’t be able to see the opportunities.
By the time the client I mentioned above came to me for coaching, she believed she was going to end up homeless. This was despite the fact that she had a very good chance of securing the position.
She believed that if she didn’t get the position, she would be jobless. If she was jobless, she wouldn’t be able to pay her mortgage. If she couldn’t pay her mortgage, her home would be repossessed and she would be made homeless.
She eventually viewed her situation more rationally
I asked her what she would do if the worst happened and she was unsuccessful. After giving it some thought, she told me that she would get another job and if she didn’t get one straight away, she could rent out her spare bedroom. Even though this was something that she did not want to do, at least it meant that she would keep the home that she loved.
With her skills and experience, she recognised that she should not have a problem getting another job. With this realisation that she would be ok, the anxiety and stress about what lay ahead lifted. She went into the interview feeling a lot more confident and she secured the role.
All that stress and worry had added nothing to her situation apart from blotchy skin, flaky scalp and sleepless nights. It wasn’t enough for her that people had been telling her that she had nothing to worry about and that she would be ok, she had to come to this realisation herself. The space that coaching provided for her to have her thoughts and beliefs challenged in a supportive way, and to reflect, enabled her to do this.
What changes are you going through or wanting to make? What do you fear will happen as a result of these changes? What do you think you will lose?
If you are going through change, what opportunities could lie ahead for you as a result of it? Make a list of all the possible opportunities that could arise. What do you need to do to make these opportunities happen? Who can support you?
You can either fear the change, worry, stress, feel powerless, and not move forward. Or you can look at your situation rationally, develop an optimistic outlook, and identify possible opportunities. What is it to be?
If you are going through change or want to make changes in your career and you are fearful about it, what is it about this change that worries you? Or if you have been through such change and overcome your fears, what helped you to overcome them?
First published on LinkedIn.
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