I have never met anyone who does not want to achieve success (whatever shape or form success looks like for them), but whilst we crave success, some people actually fear it, and they don’t even realise that they do.
A fear of success can arise for a number of reasons but the common ones I come across are:
- Not wanting to be in the spotlight
- A fear they will not be able to live up to expectations
- Imposter syndrome and believing that they will get caught out that they are a fraud
- Fearing that success will not last
We often hear a fear of failure talked about, but not so much a fear of success. You may wonder how someone who has achieved success as a leader can be fearful of success. Some people have short memories. They forget the challenges and obstacles they have overcome in the past to get to where they are now. When faced with new challenges or wanting to take on even bigger responsibilities, they forget that they’ve overcome those fears of success in the past.
Perfectionism and procrastination
Perfectionism and procrastination often accompany a fear of success. When it comes to perfectionism, excessive time and effort is spent trying to make things perfect, and because they are not perfect, you don’t go ahead and do it.
Procrastination is a delay tactic, and they bury their head in the sand, putting off what needs to be done. By delaying things, they stay in their comfort zone, which may even be uncomfortable, but they stay there because it is what they are familiar with.
Whilst they may appear successful and have achieved great things in their career, there is an inner turmoil going on for them. This chips away at their self-confidence, is stressful, and puts them under a lot of pressure. This lessens the influence and impact that they have the potential to make.
Not enjoying the spotlight
Being in the spotlight is something many introverts do not enjoy. There is a mistaken belief that this is because they lack confidence or are shy. Whilst this may be the case for some, it is not the case for all. Many introverts do not enjoy being in the spotlight because it can be overly stimulating and drain their energy.
If you are an introverted leader in a demanding role, constantly in meetings, constantly having to perform in public, constantly in the spotlight, this can be exhausting. The thought of having to do this holds some introverted people back from giving their best.
They worry about how they will perform, how they will be perceived, and as a result, avoid situations that throw them into the spotlight. Or they allow themselves to be in the spotlight but because of how they feel, they don’t perform to the best of their ability.
If you don’t enjoy being in the spotlight, accept that this is inevitable the more senior you get. Knowing the effect it has on you, put measures in place to manage the drain of your energy. Manage your diary so that you don’t have back-to-back energy draining activities throughout the day. Or let those who manage your diary know to do this. In the event it cannot be helped, make sure that you take time to recharge.
If there are other reasons why you fear being in the spotlight, get support to address them.
Separate the emotion from the situation
Whether you are fearful that you won’t live up to expectations of you, or you are experiencing imposter syndrome, or you are fearful that success will not last, you are probably worrying about the worst possible thing that could happen. But how do you know that what you are worrying about will even happen?
If your best friend was holding herself back and not doing what she needed to do to fulfil her potential and get that promotion, or speak up more at meetings, because deep down she didn’t believe she was good enough, what would you tell her?
I am sure you wouldn’t tell her to procrastinate and avoid doing what needs to be done. I am sure you would tell her about all the things she is good at. I am sure you would encourage her to get on and do it whatever it is that she needs to do to get the results that she wants.
We are often much harder on ourselves than those we care about. When it comes to other peoples’ situations, it is easier for us to view it rationally, and therefore give rational, common sense advice. When we are caught up in the emotion of what is going on for us, it makes it harder for us to view our situations rationally and with perspective.
So, whatever you are putting off doing, or not doing to the best of your ability because you fear success, write down what can be done as if you were writing it for your friend. And with this rational perspective, take your own advice and apply it to yourself.
Does a fear of success hold you back? Let me know in the comments below.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.