I recently had a conversation with someone about settling and staying in a job even though you know you have outgrown it. You stay because you are fearful of going for what you really want and being told that you are not good enough.
Many of us do it. Settle for less because deep down we are fearful of the outcome if we try to make a change. We get stuck in a rut and as the saying goes think, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.
Don’t confuse settling with gratitude
Some people mistake settling for gratitude. They think that they should be happy and grateful with what they have got, after all, there are many others who are worse off.
I believe we should all be grateful for what we have and that we can always find something to be grateful for. So yes, be grateful, but do not confuse gratitude with settling. Recognise when you are settling rather than going after what you are worth. Are you trying to convince yourself that you are happy where you are at, yet there is something tugging away inside of you?
Whether it is a lack of fulfilment, or it feels like you are no longer growing personally, if you know you want to move on but keep talking yourself out of it, ask yourself whether you are settling.
Some signs you might be settling
Have you gone for promotion a few times, or for a new role, and been knocked back once too often, resigning yourself to it’s not meant to be? Do you just go through the motions at work, and find your job unfulfilling or lacking meaning? Have you convinced yourself that you are not good enough to go for what you want, or think that if you do you will be unsuccessful, which will prove that you really are not good enough?
Reconnect with what matters to you
When we settle or get stuck in a rut, we can lose sight of our values and what is important to us. Sometimes just reconnecting to what those values are and realigning our lives to them can help us to realise that we are settling.
Spend some time reflecting on what your values are. What are the things that really matter to you? What is it that you stand for? How does your career, relationships, and personal life align with your values? If they do not align, what can you do about it?
If you believe you will never make it, then you probably won’t
Our beliefs shape our reality and if you believe that you will never make it to whatever it is that you want to achieve, then you probably never will. It is likely that you will act according to what you believe.
If you are lacking self-belief and self-worth, changing what you think and believe about yourself, will change how you feel so address your self-limiting beliefs.
Step out of your comfort zone
If you are stuck in a rut or in a comfort zone, thinking about making a change may seem overwhelming and as a result, you don’t do anything about it. Start thinking about possibilities and opportunities that could be out there for you. What can you do to make things happen, and who can help you?
Rather than trying to take yourself too far out of your comfort zone and stressing yourself out, take baby steps to make things happen. Take steps that take you to just outside of your comfort zone and once you feel ok with that, stretch yourself a little bit further. Keep on doing this and the more you do it, your confidence will grow.
When it comes to making change and going after what we want, we often imagine the worst possible outcome and as a result, talk ourselves out of doing it. What is the worst that could happen for you if you stop settling and go after what it is that you want? And if the worst was to happen, what could you do?
You don’t have to settle for less because settling is what you have always done. Be believing for more because you are worth it and you deserve it. Don’t settle for scraps, you deserve to feast at the table.
Are you settling for less? If so, what are you going to do about it?
First published on LinkedIn.
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