Every year at the beginning of January, untold people set goals or make New Year resolutions, only to find that within just a few months (weeks even), they've abandoned them.
Research in the US shows that 45% of Americans make New Year resolutions but only 8% actually achieve them. I think that this is shockingly low, don’t you agree?
As humans, we are goal oriented, always striving to achieve something. Goals are essential to giving our lives meaning and purpose otherwise without them, we would wander through life aimlessly.
But what makes it easy for some of us to constantly achieve our goals, whereas some of us always give up at the first hurdle? Through my work there are some common reasons that I come across. Here are 7 of those reasons and what you can do to avoid them so that you achieve your goals in 2015.
1. Lack of purpose
The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to live to purpose. – Michel de Montaigne.
People often align their goals to external motivators but in reality, intrinsically motivating goals that stem from your core values are naturally enjoyable, engaging, authentic and rewarding.
Your values go to the core of who you are so when setting your goals, align them to your core values. For example, if you say you want to earn £100k, what core value does this meet? If one of your core values is service, does it mean that by earning this figure it will enable you to serve more people in your business?
People who strive to achieve intrinsically motivating goals tend to work harder at pursuing them, increasing their chances of success.
2. Someone else’s goal
Whose goal is it really? Is it yours or is it someone else’s expectation of you? If you have an organisational goal that is imposed on you, how can you align it to your core values. For example, if there is a requirement that sales are increased by x amount and you like to give good customer service, you can align this goal to your value of delivering good customer service.
Are there expectations on you from people such as a partner or your parents but deep down it is not what you really want? Be honest with yourself and be honest with them. Although it may feel uncomfortable telling them, you will feel better for it long term.
3. Too vague
Merely stating that your goal is to grow your business, to get rich or to lose weight is not very specific. What does this mean in reality? Grow your business by 1 new client, 20 new clients or expand in to new markets?
Make your goals SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time framed). This way you will know exactly what you want to achieve, that it is within your capability and when you expect to achieve it by. It also means that you will be able to get feedback regarding your progress, enabling you to review and adapt as necessary. Make your goals challenging but not too hard and certainly not too easy.
If you are thinking about making a change but are still very unsure, rather than being so specific, you may find it more useful to be a bit more vague, otherwise, you may find this too fearful and end up not making a change at all.
Make your goals what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid. It is easier to visualise what you want as opposed to what you don’t want and it is also more empowering.
4. Overwhelm
If your goal is too big, it can feel pretty scary. Also the more you have riding on the outcome the more fear you feel.
You know how it is, you know that you need to give up something because it is not good for you, such as chocolate or cake, so you cut it out completely. But then the moment you have an emotional crisis, you're reaching for the sugary content to soothe you. Or you start to panic at the enormity of what you need to do so rather than do something, you do nothing.
We do this as a result of our brains triggering the fight or flight syndrome when we are faced with fearful situations. This was fine back in the day when fight or flight was necessary for our survival, but it doesn't really help us now.
If you get overwhelmed at the thought of pursuing your big goals, rather than trying to take enormous steps, take baby steps. You will feel a lot calmer and in control. Making it more likely that you will achieve your goal.
I had a client who wanted to make significant changes in her life over the course of the year. She needed to plot out her plan but thinking about the whole year caused her to feel anxious. Rather than focusing on the whole year, she broke it down to what she needed to do for the first 3 months and plotted this in her planner. This took away the anxiety, enabling her to feel more confident about pursuing it.
5. Self doubt
People tend to be very motivated at the beginning of a new year. But once the hype dies down and the reality sets in, this is often the time when self doubt creeps up, chipping away at your courage and confidence.
You start telling yourself I’m not good enough… I’ll never be able to do this… I’ll make a fool of myself… I can’t…. or whatever story it is that you tell yourself. You start to believe your story and start feeling anxious, fearful, or stressed so you don’t do anything. You then find yourself in the same position this time next year and go through the whole process again.
The way we think controls how we feel and we act and behave according to the way we feel. If you think that you’re not good enough, you will start to believe that you’re not good enough. Because you believe you are not good enough, you become anxious and fearful and start procrastinating about what you need to do and don’t do it.
But where is the evidence to support that belief and where is having that belief getting you? Change your thoughts about it to thoughts that are more helpful, more rational and that better reflect the reality of the outcome and you change the way you feel. This reduces the anxiety and fear, enabling you to feel more confident to do what you want to do.
6. Shiny objects
Do you find that you get easily distracted by ‘shiny objects’, things that tempt you away from the task in hand? Temptation is said to be the mother of procrastination and with so many distractions around you, it is easy to be drawn in and give in to the temptation.
Social media, checking emails, following link after link on the internet, all these temptations lure you in and before you know it, the damage is done. You’ve wasted a whole day and not done any significant work.
Procrastinators are said to be less healthy, less wealthy, less happy and perform worse than non procrastinators. If you don’t want to be ruled by distractions, eliminate or reduce them. Switch off social media notifications when you’re focused on working towards your goal. Turn off email notifications and only check them at certain times of the day.
Microsoft did some research amongst its employees and found that it took an average of 15 minutes for them to get back in to the flow of their work after they stopped to respond to an email notification. Considering the amount of emails you get in a day, that is an incredible amount of time wasted if you stop doing what you're doing every time you receive a notification.
By only checking emails 1 or 2 times for the day, it means that you are not constantly being interrupted and losing the flow of your concentration.
7. Losing motivation
Not seeing results quick enough, boredom, having to do things that they don’t enjoy doing as well as the previous 6 reasons mentioned, cause some people to lose motivation.
If you find that you are losing motivation, a few things that may help are:-
- Giving yourself small rewards when you have achieved particular milestones
- Make working towards your goal fun and enjoyable.
- Planning for motivational slumps by identifying your triggers and putting processes in place to accommodate this.
- Getting some help. Do you need a coach to challenge your thinking, help you overcome self limiting beliefs and obstacles as well as providing accountability? Do you need to outsource or delegate the tasks that you are not good at? Identify who can support you and enlist their help.
- Not beating yourself up. There will be days when you go off track because sometimes life simply gets in the way. Just pick yourself back up and continue, not letting this stop you moving forward.
If you find yourself heading for one of these 7 reasons, apply these tips and remind yourself of your big why. Why do you want to achieve this goal and what will it bring you.
Originally Published on LinkedIn