Do you sit in your leadership team meetings observing and reflecting as many introverts tend to do? Only speaking when you have something valuable to contribute? Not just speaking for speaking sake. Do you think to yourself that people are questioning why you are even there because they think you don’t have much to say?
Speaking in meetings is one of the most common challenges that introverted leaders tell me that they have. I frequently receive messages about this and it’s often something my clients have problems with when they first come to me for coaching.
Unfortunately, the way that many leadership team meetings are held, doesn’t play to the introverted leader’s strengths. There is often a lot of unnecessary talk and an expectation that people fire off responses on the spot, with little reflective thought.
Whilst these meetings may get results, they may have missed out on the valuable contributions of some of those present. All because they are not set up to engage with everyone in the best possible way.
If you are an introverted leader and can resonate with any of this, are you able to influence changing the style of your leadership meetings? If so, put forward that they are held in ways that play to both introverted and extroverted strengths. Just because your organisation has always held meetings this way, it doesn’t mean that this is the best way. And it doesn’t mean that they have to continue to be held this way.
However, if you are not in a position to influence changing them, here are 5 tips to help you speak up and be heard in meetings, in ways that align more with your introverted nature.
Do your reflection beforehand
As introverts, we tend to prefer observing and reflecting, and processing information, before coming forward with a valuable contribution. Unfortunately, many leadership meetings do not allow time for this to take place. There’s an expectation for people to respond on the spot.
Go through the agenda beforehand reflecting on the agenda items listed. What are your thoughts about them? What views do you have about what is being suggested? Make notes on what your thoughts are, that way when the item is discussed at the meeting, you will already have formed some opinions and can put those forward.
I often have clients tell me that they don’t have agendas for their meetings, or if they do, they get given them at the last minute. This doesn’t take into account the diversity of thinking styles and does not allow for everyone to give their best contribution.
Buy time
You may want to have a think about what is being discussed before you respond. If there is an issue you want to contribute to but need time to think before responding, buy some time.
A suggestion is to say that there are some interesting points being raised and you have some thoughts on the topic and would like to come back to it. This will give you time to reflect and gather your thoughts together, enabling you to make a considered response.
Or, offer your initial thoughts and let people know that if you have anything further to add, you will let them know.
Remember, you do have something valuable to contribute
You got the position you have because you were deemed to be the best candidate for the role and you deserve to be in it. As such, you are valuable to the organisation. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be in the role. Because you are valuable, you have something valuable to contribute. This includes your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions at meetings.
Whilst you may have a different way of communicating your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions to how your extroverted colleagues do, it doesn’t mean that your contribution is not as valid as theirs. Neither does it mean that because they may speak more, they are better than you.
Accept that your style may be different from that of the extroverts in the room, and that is ok.
Don’t let the fear of speaking up consume your thoughts
Because firing off responses may not be your natural style, you may worry about having to give an immediate response. You may start thinking that the worst possible scenario will happen This can lead you to feel anxious about it. Because you’re worrying and feeling anxious, you are likely to not speak up, or if you do speak up, the words may not come out as you want them to.
When you notice that knot in your stomach, or the tension in your neck or shoulders building up (or wherever else it shows up physiologically for you), catch the thoughts that are going through your mind. These thoughts are contributing to you feeling anxious and aren’t helping you. Change your thoughts to something that is helpful, such as, whatever value your contribution will add to the conversation.
Tell yourself that you haven’t got time to worry about speaking up now, right now the important thing for you to focus on is that the message you want to deliver is heard. Tell yourself that you will go through your worries at the end of the day at a particular time, but right now your focus is making your valuable input to this discussion.
Chances are by the end of the day, it will no longer be an issue. You spoke up and everything was ok.
Practice, practice, practice
As a leader, it is necessary to adapt your leadership style accordingly to get the best possible outcome. This may require having to do things that do not play to your natural strengths and take you out of your comfort zone.
If your leadership team meetings are held in a way that doesn’t allow for your thinking style, unless you are able to change the way that they are conducted (or influence change), find ways to contribute that work for you. The more you do it, the better at doing it you will become.
When introverts and extroverts come together with their thoughts, ideas, and suggestions, they can complement each other to give a grounded, balanced perspective on things. This can challenge thoughts and beliefs, allowing for collective creativity and innovative ideas. But in order for this to happen, every voice at the table needs to be heard.
If you are an introverted leader, what tactics do you apply when attending meetings? Or do you struggle to speak up and get your voice heard? I would love to hear how you deal with it, so please let me know below.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.