We women are often our own worse enemies. Many of us talk ourselves out of pursuing the careers or businesses that we really want, coming up with untold reasons why we can’t instead of focusing on how can we.
A lot of this boils down to our insecurities and self limiting beliefs. We tell ourselves we’re no good, it is beyond our reach, we’ll never achieve and so much more…
Whilst there are many women going after what they really want in their professional lives and achieving their full potential, there are still many women for whom this is still a no no.
Here are 5 common reasons I frequently come across as to why women are staying stuck in their jobs and what you can do about them. And for the men that are reading, you may relate to these too.
1. I don’t have skills
When you have been doing a job for a very long time it is easy to lose sight of what skills you have unless you are constantly developing your skills.
The jargon used by companies when writing job descriptions can make the role seem a lot more complicated than it actually is. One of my clients was applying for a role and when she saw the job description and the requirements, it was enough to put her off. Getting her to break down exactly what it meant made her realise that it was something that she could do and she applied for it and got it.
If you are unsure of what your skills are, dig out your job description. What are the skills required for the role that you are currently doing? What skills do you have that are transferrable to the roles you are interested in?
In the event that you really do not have the skills required for what you want to do, how can you acquire those skills? Can you develop them through undertaking training, job shadowing or voluntary work?
2. I’m not as good as…
Comparing yourself to someone else and putting yourself down is not going to help you. When you lack experience, it is easy to look at those with more experience and confidence in what they are doing and wish that you could be like them. However, you do not know their story, or their internal experiences that shape who they are and how they got there.
One of my clients had made a complete career change following redundancy. She had been in her new role less than 2 years and wanted to progress. However, she didn’t believe that she would achieve this. She was comparing herself to 2 people who were doing the roles that she was interested in and who were very good at what they did. It was only when she realised that they had over 30 years experience between them (so were bound to be more knowledgeable and experienced) that she was able to look at her situation more rationally.
3. I’m stuck in a comfort zone
Whilst you may know your job inside out, if the job no longer challenges or stretches you, you will not grow. Although making a change may seem scary, if you don’t make changes, how will things be for you in 1 year, 2 years, 3 years or more? What do you think the long term impact of staying in a comfort zone will be for you?
It will affect your motivation and your confidence (if it hasn’t already done so). It can also affect your performance, your stress levels, even your health.
If the thought of making a change seems too overwhelming, take baby steps. When we are faced with a big change it takes you in to unknown territory and can trigger fear. This can leave you feeling powerless, stressed, anxious and fearful. So rather than putting yourself through this, you end up doing nothing.
Instead of looking at the enormity of making such a big change, break it down and focus on one step at a time. For example, if you want to change career, start by identifying what skills you have. The next step could be identifying what you are good at and what you enjoy doing. Then you could start thinking about and researching the kind of roles you are interested in and so on.
Likewise, if you want to leave employment and start your own business, you could start exploring ideas for your business. Then you could do the research to see whether there is a need for this type of business and so on.
In order to take yourself out of your comfort zone, do something that stretches you, making you feel slightly uncomfortable. However, don’t stretch yourself too far out of your comfort zone in to your discomfort zone as this can be stressful.
The more you stretch yourself, the more you will grow and the more confident you will become.
4. It’s flexible for my caring responsibilities
This one can be a tricky one if you have young children or other caring responsibilities. However, make sure that your children are not a smoke screen for your own self limiting beliefs.
Many organisations these days allow flexible working arrangements for employees with caring responsibilities. When doing your research find out whether the companies you are interested in offer this.
If your circumstances dictate that you do stay where you are, learn to love the job you are in and this post here can help you to do this.
I myself made a conscious decision to stay at a particular location and position for 8 years, when my son was younger. As a single mum, it was convenient because his school was easily accessible from it. However, whilst I was there I continued to challenge myself by taking developmental opportunities and extra responsibilities as well as moving to different departments within the business unit.
5. I’m out of touch with the recruitment process
If you have not applied for a job for a long time or not had an interview for years, it can seem pretty daunting having to go through this. Bringing yourself up to speed with how CVs are laid out now and how to complete application forms will make this aspect less overwhelming.
There are many resources available that can help you with this. A search of the internet will reveal untold free advice, tips, and templates that you can take advantage of. You can also pay for services that will help you review and write your CV. If you are nervous about interviews, get some interview coaching or ask someone do give you a mock interview.
The main thing is that you get started and the more jobs you apply for, the more experience you will gain and with experience comes confidence.
Originally Published on LinkedIn