With more than a third of women reportedly lacking the confidence to ask for a pay rise or promotion, only you can do something about this.
With all the other barriers you need to contend with, by tackling your lack of confidence, you will be more courageous to tackle the other barriers head on.
In order to do this, you need to get out of your comfort zone. When you are stuck in your comfort zone, anything outside it can seem scary. It can seem impossible, it can even seem that women like you just don't get those types of opportunities.
But if you don't do anything about your situation, no one else will and you will still be in the same position 5..., 10..., 15..., 20 years from now. Sound depressing? I am sure that it does.
It takes guts to take yourself out of your comfort zone and if you've been stuck in it for a long time, developing the motivation and confidence to do it may seem like an uphill struggle or an impossible task.
Staying stuck in a comfort zone doesn't have to be your lot in life, you do have choices. Although it may seem scary, the rewards of doing so will be far greater than the investment that you make in yourself to take yourself out of it.
Imagine, what would life be like at the other side of your comfort zone? A life where you confidently pursue the career or business that you really want, a life where you're not afraid to ask for what you want. Imagine a life where getting told no doesn't leave you feeling like a crumbled wreck and you simply pick yourself up and seek out the next opportunity.
Does this life sound good? Do you wish that you were this kind of woman? Well I have got news for you, it can be you, you just need to take that first step and I will show you how.
Face your fears
What is it that is holding you back and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone? What is it that you fear will happen? Is it a fear of failure? Is it a fear that you are not good enough? Is it a fear of rejection, thinking that you will be told no or that no one will want you?
These are very common fears for many women but they do not need to be your reality. They are lies that you are telling yourself, except you probably can't see that they are lies because it feels like your reality as you are living it.
Just suppose if (and it is a big if because the chances are it might never happen) your worst nightmare was to happen and you were to fail, or you weren't good enough, or you were rejected. What would happen? What could you do?
You could pull yourself back up and try again, that's what you could do. And yes, it may have been uncomfortable, it may have been a horrible experience but at least you can try again.
No one said that life would be easy and things happen that we may not like. But how we respond to adverse situations determines how well we adapt. You have a choice as to how you respond. There will always be other opportunities if you are curious enough to seek them out.
Take baby steps
When you think about life outside of your comfort zone, does it seem overwhelming? And does this overwhelm cause you to procrastinate or scare you so much that you don't take action?
Taking yourself too far out of your comfort zone in one hit can be very overwhelming. It is also very stressful and puts a lot of pressure on you. So much so that you probably won't make a success of what you're doing and end up getting knocked backed and not trying again.
This has previously been the position for a lot of my clients when they first start working with me. They have tried to make changes but they have tried to take too big a leap out of their comfort zone and then found it too scary, too stressful and they've reverted back to the comfort they are so familiar with.
Rather than trying to take yourself too far out of your comfort zone and stressing yourself out, take baby steps. Take steps that take you to just outside of your comfort zone and once you feel ok with that, stretch yourself a little bit further. Keep on doing this and the more you do it, you will see your confidence levels soar.
Take note though that what may be outside your comfort zone may be very different to someone else. On one of my group programmes the women were discussing what actions they were going to take to step out of their comfort zone and one woman said that she was going to do a bungee jump. To many of the other women this would be a step too far but for her, it was just right.
Define your personal measure of success
My definition of success may not be your definition. Success is very subjective. Define what success means to you and what it looks like. Don't feel that you have to conform to a particular view of success if it is not you and goes against your values and what you stand for.
In a consumer driven society, it is easy to lose sight of the things that really matter and get caught up in the notion that because everyone else has something, we have to have it too.
Create your own vision of success. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Is it to smash through the glass ceiling and become CEO? Is it to have your own successful business? Or is it to be a stay at home mum and work full time raising a family?
Once you define what success means to you, own it and be confident with it and whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability.
Success is waiting for you. It can be yours but you will only find it at the other side of your comfort zone.
Originally Published on LinkedIn
