We hear constantly that research suggests women will not apply for a job if they don’t think they meet 100% of the criteria, whereas men will apply for a job even if they only meet 60%. These figures allegedly come from an internal study by Hewlett Packard.
Although I have never actually seen the study to which this alleged fact relates (and please can someone point me in the direction where I can find it), what I do know from personal experience of many of the women I work with, is that women do often sell themselves short. Not going for positions they really want (and would be very good at) because they don’t meet all the criteria. However, I cannot comment whether the alleged 60% quoted for men bears any resemblance to reality.
Confidence is still very much a factor affecting women in the workplace
Last night, I was fortunate to attend an event organised by the Guardian Women in Leadership called Bridging the Confidence Gap, a panel discussion with leading women (and one man), discussing whether a lack of confidence holds women back. The discussion looked at whether this is still an issue, what we can do to address it and how women will change in the workplace in the future.
The discussion and the ensuing questions that followed showed that confidence is still very much a factor affecting women in the workplace. However, the panel demonstrated that this is something that women can overcome and all of them (including the male panel member) outlined moments in their careers where they have had to push through and overcome confidence issues.
Men do lack confidence but they are not good at articulating it...
What was very interesting was hearing a male perspective on this issue, and Alan Bloom, TAS Global Head of Restructuring at EY highlighted a very important point. Men do lack confidence but they are not good at articulating it so they fall by the wayside. They don’t talk about feelings generally. Men feel that if they shout louder they start to feel confident and there is a lot of bravado amongst decision makers (who are mainly men).
I take from this that fake it until you make it works very well for men.
We all have the ability within us to be confident
I believe that we all have the ability within us to be confident and pursue our career and business aspirations but there are many factors that hold us back from doing so and are expressed in different ways according to gender.
Historically, girls and boys have been encouraged differently. For boys it was all about bravado and being great, whereas girls didn’t play this way. Girls were allowed to cry but this was instilled as being weak for boys. We are products of our environment and the discourses around us shape the way we think and behave.
Girls are influenced at an early age to be victims, whereas boys are influenced to be heroes and we all know that heroes are always bold and courageous. We see this in the stories we tell our children. How many fairy tales are there where the woman is the helpless victim and the man is the gallant rescuer? Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t see anything wrong in being rescued by a prince charming if this is what is wanted but these stories contribute to the ideals we form in our minds.
There is no doubt about it, if you want to get on and be brilliant at what you do, you not only need to be competent, you need to be confident too.
Are women better at expressing their emotions as a result of conditioning?
Is it the case that woman really are less confident or is it as a result of conditioning? Is it because of the way that girls have been nurtured that when we become women, we are better at expressing our emotions and therefore articulating that we don’t feel confident? Studies have found that women tend to be more aware of their emotions.
Does this go back to the natural instincts of the alpha male who is the provider and protector who, in order to do so needs to be courageous to protect his pack and showing his fears is a sign of weakness? But what happens to those unexpressed emotions?
Statistics from the British Heart Foundation show that considerably more men in the UK under the age of 65 die from coronary heart disease and strokes than women . It is also said that stress is proven to cause an increase in heart attack and strokes. Whilst I am not medically qualified, could there be a link with suppressing emotions? This is possibly so because a study by Harvard Public Health and Rochester University found an increased risk of heart disease and cancer in people who suppress their emotions.
Should men get in touch with their feelings and express them?
Are men therefore better off leaving behind the alpha male image, getting in touch with their feelings and expressing them? Will doing so give a true picture of whether men are really more confident than women? Or will it show that it is equally the same?
Since time immemorial, men have been the predominant gender in positions of power and because women taking up these positions is still relatively new in the grand scheme of things, we still have a lot of catching up to do.
Would a world dominated by women at the top increase confidence in women? I believe that the more role models a person has, the more likely they are to model that behaviour. So if women see more women in senior positions and positions of power, they are more likely to model and aspire to that.
Because there is a lack of women in senior positions, should more be done to help women develop their confidence where this is shown to be an issue? Or should they be left to fend for themselves and find a way to overcome this on their own? And if women are given support with this, should men equally be given support to actively articulate their emotions so that they too can address their confidence issues?
Identified areas for development should be addressed regardless of gender
My personal view is that where there is an identified area for development, regardless of gender, both the employer and the employee should take responsibility in addressing this. The employer because an engaged, motivated, developed employee is a productive employee and the individual because we are all responsible for our own personal development.
An organisation should provide support within its remit or signpost individuals to where they can get support. Individuals should help themselves by identifying sources of support and actively pursuing it.
The Harvard Business Review’s latest list of top 100 CEOs across the world consists of only 2 women. This shows that a lack of diversity in the boardroom is still very much a big issue and women still have a long way to go, but that is for another discussion.
So back to the question, are women really less confident than men? I believe that women and men equally have confidence issues at various times in their careers but it is just that men are less likely to express their feelings so we don’t hear about it.
Originally Posted on LinkedIn
