Over the years there have been numerous research studies about the benefits of networking for career success. Harvard Business Review previously reported that the executives who rank in the top 20% of their companies in both performance and well-being have diverse but select networks.
Other studies have shown that networking relates to career success. A longitudinal study by Hans-Georg Wolff and Klaus Moser suggested that those who network are more satisfied in their careers and that networking can contribute to career growth over time. It can be considered an investment that pays off.
I personally have experienced considerable benefits from networking, as have my coaching clients. However, for many introverts networking can be an unenjoyable experience. A previous client for whom business development was part of her role and required her to network, hated it. She likened it to a meat market where everyone tried to sell you, their wares.
I conducted a LinkedIn poll this week asking about the main challenges that introverted leaders face. So far there have been 142 votes, and of the options provided, networking and socialising are currently in the lead at 44%.
There are still 5 days left of the poll and if you haven’t completed it yet, you can complete the poll here.
Some people mistakenly believe that introverts don’t like networking because they lack confidence. Whilst this may be the case for some, it is not the case for all. Introverts have a preference for less stimulating environments, but the networking environment can be overstimulating.
When we are overstimulated, we can feel overwhelmed and drained. Feeling depleted of energy like this may make you feel like not engaging in conversation and want to retreat and go somewhere quiet to recharge.
Extraverts on the other hand typically have a preference for stimulating environments and are energised being around other people. This is why at a networking event you may see extraverted colleagues working the room speaking to lots of different people.
Introverts also typically don’t enjoy small talk and have a preference for depth of conversation rather than quantity of conversations. Historically, we have been led to think that at networking events we have to speak to as many people as possible.
This approach to networking can make it a nightmare for introverts and it is understandable why my client likened networking to a meat market.
If you don’t like networking, here are some suggestions as to how to make it a more enjoyable experience and how to get the most out of it:
You find networking draining
Give yourself adequate time to recharge after networking. Likewise, make sure you are feeling energised when you go. This could mean keeping your calendar light before and after a networking event so that you don’t go networking already feeling drained.
You hate making small talk hate and having to work the room
If you feel drained just at the thought of making small talk and speaking to lots of different people, you don’t have to do that. Identify key people that you want to connect with and have fewer but more meaningful conversations. Use the small talk as a segue to more meaningful conversations.
You find it difficult to strike up conversations
If you find it difficult to engage in conversations with people that you don’t know, have some conversation starters at the ready. Ask open questions that require more than a yes or no response.
Listen to the response, pick up on something they said, and then ask another open question. Do this a few times and the conversation should start to flow as they start to ask you questions back.
Plus, by exercising your listening skills which introverts are well known for, the other person will feel heard. And people love to feel like they are heard.
Getting to the event early means that it is easier to join in conversations before groups have started to form. Keep an eye out for those who are on their own and equally find it difficult to strike up conversations. They will appreciate you making the effort to talk to them.
You lack confidence in networking
If you lack confidence when it comes to networking, examine what it is about it that you worry about or are fearful of. Challenging what you think and believe about it, will help you change how you feel about it.
With my client who likened networking to a meat market, she changed what she thought about it. She changed her perspective to look at it as a way of connecting with people. She could then take the conversation out of the networking environment. If she believed that her company could help the person, she would let them know how they could do this.
Reframing her perspective towards networking this way, made it a more enjoyable experience and she felt confident about it.
The networking environment may not always be introvert friendly, but you can certainly network in ways which feel authentic and make it an enjoyable experience.
Do you love or hate networking and what is it that you love or hate about it?
