There are many people who advocate ‘fake it till you make it’ and act confident at what you’re doing, even though you don’t feel it. The premise behind this is that the more frequently you do it, the more confident you will become.
I often have to deal with the aftermath with people who have followed the fake it till you make it advice who, as a result, have ended up more anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and feeling less confident.
Whilst the fake it till you make it advice might be good for some people in some situations, it might not be good in everything and for everyone. There are some situations where faking it alone may not be a positive experience for you.
It is an inherent belief
If you have an inherent belief, no matter how many times you stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you can do it, it won’t stop you feeling anxious about what it is that you need to do. This is because you truly believe that it will happen. If you are prone to experiencing imposter syndrome, it can bring imposter syndrome on.
If you believe that you are going to fail, mess up, make a fool of yourself (or whatever else it is that you are worrying about), even if you fake it and go ahead and do it, chances are, you won’t do it to the best of your ability. This is because you are so anxious and stressed about it.
Although people may tell you that you can do it, if you don’t believe it, you will not feel and act confident. In fact, it could even make you feel worse. If you suppress the emotion, it may keep rearing its head.
It is better to acknowledge it, explore it, and rationalise it, to help relieve the anxiety that you are feeling.
Your lack of self-belief may shine through
If you don’t believe in yourself and your abilities, that lack of belief is likely to be evident and it won’t instil confidence in others about your ability.
Unless you have mastered the art of faking it until you make it, even though you may be faking it, your actions and behaviour may come across as fake. You may not come across as natural and you may not appear authentic. A lack of authenticity will make it more difficult for you to connect with others and to gain their trust.
Where does your belief come from anyway? Is it based on past experience? Is it because you are uncertain about what it is that you need to do? Identify where that belief comes from and challenge it. Just because you believe it doesn’t automatically mean that it is true.
Do you need training?
How well do you know and understand what it is that you need to do? Is your knowledge and understanding up to speed? Having good knowledge and understanding of what it is that you need to do will in itself make you feel more confident.
If you don’t have the skills needed, regardless of how much you try to fake it, you definitely won’t be making it. Have you got the necessary skills? If not, what can you do to acquire them? Or do you have the skills but need to brush up on them?
Identify how you can develop the skills that are needed and invest some time in developing them. Having the level of skills needed to do what is required will make things so much easier for you.
Having the knowledge and the skills means you just need to work on developing your confidence with the execution of the task, which you will gain through practice
Plan and prepare
I am often surprised about the number of people I meet who lack confidence about something but yet do very little planning and preparation for it. A good example of this is when it comes to interviews.
When they do start to plan and prepare, they get a totally different outcome. We often get so caught up with being busy, we don’t put the time in to plan and prepare. How well do you plan and prepare for the thing that you lack confidence in?
A bit of planning and preparation will take you a long way.
If the worst was to happen, what could you do?
What is the worst thing that could happen if you were to go ahead and do what it is that you want to do? What is it that you worry about and if this was to happen, what could you do?
If you know your stuff, have the skills for it have planned and prepared for it, what are the chances of your worst nightmare happening anyway? Hopefully, your response to this question will be that the chances are very small, if not at all.
If it’s not, rationalising the worst possible outcome will make the situation seem less daunting once you realise that no matter what, you will be ok.
Faking it till you make it can be stressful, overwhelming and make you feel even more anxious when you lack self-belief about what you want to do. Whilst there are some instances where faking it till you make it may work, in my opinion, it is better to address the source of your fear. That way you can be your natural, authentic self, and that is where you will find your confidence.
What has your experience of faking it till you make it been? Have you ever faked it and then made it, or faked it and ended up feeling worse? I would love to know so please share in the comments below.
First published on LinkedIn.
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