For the introverted woman leader who lacks self-confidence, the more senior you become, the easier it can be to lose part of who you truly are as you try to fit in and be accepted.
In an organisation where extraversion is favoured over introversion and it is the case that ‘she who shouts loudest gets heard’, you may think that you have to do the same and put on a persona. But by trying to be someone that you’re not, you may not only come across as inauthentic, but you also put a lot of pressure on yourself. This can be stressful and chip away at your self-belief and self-confidence.
By utilising your strengths and being your authentic self as a leader, you will feel more confident and are more likely to thrive.
Know who you are
Know who you are as an individual and be that person (or a better version of that person) and not who your parents wanted you to be, what your spouse/partner/friends think you should be, or some other ideology of who you should be that is not you.
Be aligned with your values and know what makes you ‘tick’. What matters to you and is important to you? What energises you? What depletes your energy? When are you at your best? When are you at your worst? What do you want for your career and life? What don’t you want for your career and life? What insights do you gain about yourself from asking yourself these questions? What will you do with these insights?
What other questions can help you know and understand yourself better?
Develop your self-awareness
What impact do you have on others? How does an encounter with you leave other people feeling, acting, and behaving? Are people open and receptive to you, or do they clam up or get defensive? If it is the latter, what could be the reason for this?
Reflect on how you respond to different situations, people, and environments and why you respond the way that you do. What are the triggers that knock your confidence and what can you do to manage them?
Self-awareness will help you to better manage your emotions so that you do not let unhelpful, negative emotions knock your self-confidence
Using our strengths is where we see our greatest accomplishments
When we utilise our strengths, we experience personal growth, we are more motivated, more energised, more joyful, and more likely to be at our optimal.
over-worry
Unfortunately, many people focus a lot of their time, energy, and money trying to fix their weaknesses, believing that fixing their weaknesses is where they will see personal growth. It's not that we shouldn't address our weaknesses or ignore them, it can be important that we do.
Particularly if not doing so is going to have a detrimental effect. It is about utilising your strengths to increase your motivation, optimise your productivity and effectiveness, and ultimately get the results that you want.
Accept yourself for who you are and don’t over worry about what others think of you
When you worry too much about what other people think about you it can cause you to be fearful and insecure. Being self-assured and confident with who you are will free you from these fears and insecurities.
Accept yourself for who you are, value the strengths of introversion, and use them as your superpowers.
‘The secret of true self-acceptance is to stop seeing ourselves as a single entity. We are made up of hundreds of component parts – our skills, abilities, physique, sporting or artistic leanings, levels of competitiveness, intelligence, emotional maturity, personal qualities... And many more.’- (Wilding & Palmer)
I see many introverted women leaders who overlook their good qualities and focus on the one or two things that they don’t do well or that they are not good at. They compare themselves to others and put themselves down in the process. They blow their perceived shortcomings out of proportion and end up feeling rubbish about themselves. This knocks their self-belief and self-confidence.
Learning to accept yourself for who you are will help with this. If you struggle with this, get support to help you address it.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.
