Should We Talk More Openly About Experiencing Imposter Syndrome and a Lack of Self-Confidence?

A poll I did on my webinar, The Number One Strategy Introverted Women Use to Increase their Influence and Impact as Senior Leaders this week showed that 86% of participants either experience imposter syndrome or have experienced it. I did the same poll on a different webinar the week before and the result was higher at 93%.

Whether they are introverted, extroverted, women or men, so many of us experience imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence. Yet we don’t often hear people openly talk about experiencing it. 

Should we talk openly about these things, or should we keep quiet?

I wonder if more people talked openly about it, whether it would remove some of the stigma. And in doing so, whether it would then mean that people experiencing them wouldn't feel so bad within themselves about it. If they felt like it wasn’t such a big issue and that they wouldn’t be judged because of it, or treated less favourably, it wouldn't have such a hold on them.

Often people lack self-confidence or experience imposter syndrome but have the necessary skills and ability

Oftentimes when people do experience a lack of confidence or imposter syndrome, or are doubting themselves, it's not that they lack the skills and the ability to do what they want to do. Those self-limiting beliefs cause them to get in the way of themselves.

Because it's not openly talked about and because of the fear of how it will be perceived, these emotions get suppressed which only magnifies the issue. Whereas, if as little attention was given to it as say when someone has a cold, it wouldn’t have such a hold on people.

Our experiences of these issues are as a result of childhood experiences or other life experiences that have shaped our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, our environments, or how we see and engage with the world. This doesn't necessarily mean that we’re not up to scratch.

When you realise other people experience the same issues as you, it doesn’t seem so bad after all

When I do group programmes, webinars or workshops around these sorts of issues, I can often see the sense of relief when participants realise that there are others who experience what they're going through. When you feel like you're the only one that's experiencing something, it is easy to think that there must be something wrong with you.

When you realise that other people are experiencing the same issues as you, it makes it not seem so bad after all. I myself have experienced a lack of confidence and imposter syndrome and there are even times when they still rear their head. But I don't let it stop me from doing what I need to do or what I want to do.

You may sometimes feel that you lack confidence. You may sometimes feel that impostor syndrome has reared its head. It is ok to feel that. It is what you then do that will determine how you progress and how you move forward. You can recognise what is going on and recognise it for what it is and challenge your thinking about it.

Being open about it requires vulnerability

‘Very few people whether you’ve been in the job before or not, get into the seat and believe today that they are now qualified to be the CEO. They’re not going to tell you that but it’s true.     Howard Schultz, former CEO and Chair, Starbucks

I'm not saying that when you go for a promotion interview, a job interview, or when you're in a board meeting that you blurt out that you are not feeling confident, doubting yourself or experiencing imposter syndrome. What I am saying is if we generally have more open conversations about these issues, it will increase awareness about how widespread they are, and help remove the stigma.

In an interview in an article titled ‘Good CEOs are Insecure and Know it’ in the New York Times some years ago, Howard Schultz, former CEO and Chair of Starbucks talked openly about CEOs stepping into their roles and experiencing imposter syndrome.

If more CEOs talked openly about their experience like this, perhaps it would ease some of the pressure on those further down the organisational structure. This, however, requires vulnerability. Showing vulnerability requires confidence. Not everyone has the confidence to be vulnerable. 

Experiencing these self-limiting beliefs doesn’t automatically mean someone lacks the skills, knowledge and ability. They get in the way of them being at their optimal. But just because you think something about yourself, it doesn’t mean that you have to believe it if it isn’t true.

If we remove the stigma associated with such issues, it will help stop people from magnifying them in their minds, and letting it have a stronghold over them.

You can listen to more of what I have to say about this at the podcast link above.

So, what about you? What do you think? Should we have more of these conversations talking openly about experiencing a lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and other self-limiting beliefs that often hold people back? Or should people keep it to themselves and allow it to chip away at them, quietly getting support for it if needed?

 

First published on LinkedIn.

 

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.