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I think that self-awareness doesn’t get the attention it deserves when it comes to leadership qualities. If you want to be influential and have a profound impact as a leader, how you manage yourself and your relationships is crucial. To do this well requires self-awareness.
Self-awareness is crucial to leadership success. It is the foundation of emotional and social intelligence. Self-aware leaders are more effective with more satisfied employees and more profitable companies.
Leaders who lack self-awareness often act in ways that are not beneficial to the overall good of the teams that they lead and the wider organisational mission. People often associate leaders who lack self-awareness as having an over inflated ego. But did you know that a lack of self-awareness can also result in an under inflated ego?
An under inflated ego can lead to various emotional and psychological challenges such as low self-esteem, passiveness, a fear of rejection, self-sabotage, over dependence on external validation, and difficulty handling criticism. Challenges I often see when coaching.
People who lack self-awareness generally are not aware that they do
From my observations, people who lack self-awareness generally are not aware that they do. How many times have you met someone who claims ‘The whole world’ is against them, but doesn’t realise that THEY are the common denominator?
It is a lack of self-awareness why they fail to recognise that the issue is them and they may get defensive when you try to point this out. Again, this is a sign that they lack self-awareness, and they’re not even prepared to listen to feedback.
Jane could be quite hard on her team if they failed to live up to what she expected of them. She had outward perfectionist tendencies, meaning she had expectations of her team which were difficult to attain. She lacked awareness of the pressure that this put on them. was oblivious to the pressure she put them under.
Initially, she couldn’t see that she was the reason she didn’t have a good relationship with her team. Coaching helped her to develop her self-awareness and see what she needed to do to improve her interpersonal relationships and develop a good connection with her team.
Self-awareness enables you to respond to your emotions appropriately
Self-awareness is not just a key to successful leadership for introverts, it is key for extraverted leaders as well. important for effective leadership not just for people who are introverted, but ALL leaders as well.
Self-awareness enables you to be better at self-regulation and manage how you respond to your emotions. Rather than responding to an emotionally charged situation irrationally, self-awareness helps you to assess the situation from a rational perspective and to recognise the need to self-regulate.
As an introvert, self-awareness enables you to identify those environments and situations that do not enable you to thrive as yourself. Being self-aware helps you to identify what is needed to get the best outcome from such situations without compromising who you are. It enables you to know when to play to your strengths and how to best support your weaknesses. As well as how best to manage your energy levels.
Developing your self-awareness
Regularly make time for self-reflection to become aware of how and why you respond to different situations and people, and how and why they respond to you. You will begin to identify those individuals and environments that enable you to thrive and those that do not.
How do you react when you feel affronted, fearful, threatened, anxious, happy, loved, joyful, etc? Develop an awareness of the physiological responses as well as the emotional. Ask yourself questions that help you explore what is going on for you and how you can manage how you respond.
Getting feedback from other people also helps to develop self-awareness. It gives you an understanding of how they perceive you which is beneficial for personal growth. Feedback needs to be specific and helpful.
Reflect on whether feedback from others matches how you perceive yourself. It can be easy for us to get defensive when receiving constructive feedback that highlights negative perceptions of us. When this happens, it is because it has triggered our body's stress response.
Physiologically, our body is telling us that we are facing a threat, and we go into fight or flight mode. The reality is you are not under physical attack. It could be due to a fear of rejection, the need for approval, or other self-limiting beliefs. If you feel this tension when receiving negative feedback, explore the reason for it, and rationalise what you think and believe. Put the situation into perspective.
Self-awareness is key to your success as a leader. If you lack self-awareness, it is a skill that can be developed. Put into practice the tips I have shared and let me know how you get on.
What has your experience been of leaders who lack self-awareness and how did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.
Are you an introverted leader who wants to increase your influence and visibility without feeling the pressure to be loud? Join me for this LinkedIn Live session where we'll explore how introverted leaders can lead with confidence, build strong influence, and make a lasting impact – all while staying true to their quiet strengths.
I’ll be sharing practical strategies that have helped countless introverted senior leaders boost their visibility, foster meaningful relationships, and enhance their leadership presence. Whether you're navigating imposter syndrome, self-doubt, or simply looking for ways to increase your influence without adopting an extraverted persona, this session is for you.
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