Contrary to what many people think, being introverted doesn't automatically mean we don't like networking.
In fact, many of us introverts love networking. But it's that all the buzz and social activity going on that is external to our minds which can be draining.
When we're drained it can be challenging to expend the energy needed to engage and be sociable with the people at the networking event. Particularly as a lot of small talk is used whilst networking, which many introverts don't enjoy. Whereas extroverts tend to thrive in those environments because they are energised by being around other people and the buzz of the social activity.
I find that networking events which are just a large social gathering, are the most challenging for introverts. Even more so if there is loud music playing at the same time. When organising networking events, giving some consideration to this can make it a better experience for all.
Introverts typically don’t like making small talk, so having to make small talk over the loud music can be draining. When we feel drained, we’re less likely to want to interact and engage in conversation.
If I am at a social event where there are lots of people and loud music playing, I would be quite happy to just watch and observe all that is going on around me. But if I did that, people would probably think that I am anti-social, so I make the effort to interact and engage with others.
This past week, I have done quite a lot of networking and have been to some brilliant events, including a fantastic one yesterday at LinkedIn. I have reconnected with LinkedIn connections not seen since before the pandemic, met LinkedIn connections in person for the first time, as well as made some totally new connections.
Additionally, in the past week I have done quite a lot of public speaking. This has been both virtually and in person. Add this to the coaching and other work I do for my coaching business, plus my studies, it means it’s been a full-on week with lots of externally stimulating activities.
Being introverted it is important that I recognise that all this external activity, can be overly stimulating. As such, it is important that I give myself the space and the time to re-energise. Otherwise, I will end up feeling drained and exhausted (what I refer to as introvert drain).
When I feel drained of energy, it takes more of an effort to interact and engage at networking events. Because this is what tends to happen for introverts, it can be misunderstood as being shy, aloof, or lacking confidence.
If you don't like making small talk (particularly when you’re all peopled out and experiencing introvert drain), having some conversation starters up your sleeve can be the segue to the deep and meaningful conversations that you prefer.
Asking open questions that start with 'what', 'who', 'how', 'where', 'when', 'why', will trigger a response that is more than a yes or a no. So, after you’ve moved passed the initial ‘Hello, who are you and what do you do (or whatever is used as an introduction)?’, an example of a follow on question could be ‘What do you think about what the speaker said about xxxx?’
People like to feel that they are being listened to, so put your great listening skills into use (us introverts are known for being great listeners 😊) and listen to what is being said. Then ask another open question. Repeat this a few times until the conversation starts to flow, as the person you are speaking to starts to ask questions to get to know you.
Oh, and don't feel that you have to work the room and speak to as many people as possible. That may deplete your energy. It is perfectly ok to have fewer, more deep and meaningful conversations.
⚠️ REMEMBER, the networking environment can be draining for introverts, so give yourself adequate time and space to recharge afterwards.
What networking tips do you have for introverts and what are your conversation starters?
