My Journey From Shy and Self-Doubting to Quietly Confident

It’s been 14 years since I left my corporate career to complete an MSc Coaching Psychology and start my coaching practice, and I’ve been reflecting on that journey.

If you’d met me many years ago, you’d have seen a shy, quiet young woman who clung to her mum’s leg on her first day of school because she was too timid to join the other children. I lacked confidence and self-belief.

Over the years, I’ve learned that I was never lacking confidence — I was quiet. I was mistaking my introversion for insecurity. Once I understood and embraced my quiet nature, everything changed.

Quietly Unstoppable: Increase Your Confidence, Transform Your Life

 

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If self-doubt or a lack of confidence keeps you playing small, my upcoming 3-hour virtual masterclass — Quietly Unstoppable: Increase Your Confidence, Transform Your Life — is for you.

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In this practical, immersive session, I’ll help you develop unshakeable confidence and quiet strength — without pretending to be someone you’re not.

You’ll learn how to:

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My Journey to Confidence

 

I began my career with few qualifications, starting in a junior role and eventually progressing to a senior leadership position. Each step up meant facing fears, tackling imposter syndrome, and stepping outside my comfort zone.

When I separated from my son’s father, he became my big why. I wanted him to see a confident, resilient mum — so I worked on myself. Coaching, training, reading, self-development… anything that helped me develop and grow.

And I discovered that:

Confidence isn’t about never feeling fear or doubt. It’s about doing the thing anyway — aligned to your purpose and values.

What helped me develop self-belief and build confidence

 

1. Have a big WHY. When your goals are anchored in something that truly matters, it fuels courage and persistence. My son was a big WHY in my leadership career. Having an impact and making a difference through my work is my big WHY now.

2. Focus on specifics. If you say, ‘I’m not confident,’ ask yourself exactly what is it that you lack confidence in. You’ll often find you’re confident in some areas and just need learning or support in others.

3. Develop self-awareness. Notice the triggers that knock your confidence — tiredness, unfamiliar situations, high-stakes moments, and plan for them.

4. Keep learning and growing. Become a lifelong learner. Every new skill and piece of knowledge builds capability and confidence.

5. Lean into your strengths and authenticity. True confidence comes from being aligned with who you are, not trying to be someone you’re not.

Imposter syndrome - you’re not alone

I’ve experienced imposter syndrome many times — when I got my senior leadership role, when I wrote my book, and even when I spoke with Harvard professor Amy Edmondson more recently about my latest MSc Psychology research, exploring how introverted women leaders experience belonging and psychological safety in the workplace.

 

What I’ve learned is:

Everyone experiences it at some point or another — even the most accomplished people. It’s often linked to early experiences where you’re made to feel you’re not good enough, or where you’re put on a pedestal and high expectations are placed on you, that you don’t think you can live up to. Or to being ‘different' in your environment, such as the only woman, introvert, person of colour, or person with a disability in the room.

The key is to recognise that often, it’s the environment, not you, that brings on those feelings.

Want to Strengthen Your Confidence Too?

🎧 In my latest Quietly Visible podcast episode, I share more about this journey — how I went from self-doubt to self-belief, and practical ways you can do the same.

🔗 Listen to the episode here

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