Before starting my coaching business 13 years ago, I worked for many years as a leader in an organisation. I didn’t start my career with the intention of becoming a leader. I started as a typist in a magistrates’ court (one of the most junior roles within the organisation) and went for promotion to an admin role because I often saw admin officers giving out incorrect information to customers. It frustrated me that I knew more than them, yet they were more senior than me.
My first step on the leadership ladder
About a year after my first promotion, I had my son. On returning to work, my role was not challenging enough. As much as I enjoyed the role, I wanted challenge and responsibility and when my son was 2 years old, at the age of 24, I was promoted to a supervisor. This was my first step on the leadership ladder.
Starting as a supervisor in a new location, I was thrust in at the deep end and expected to get on with it without any training or guidance. My team had not previously had a direct line manager, which was challenging at first, particularly with some of the louder personalities.
However, despite imposter syndrome, not being too confident, and being introverted, I developed a good relationship with my team. Little did I know at the time that it was my introverted strengths that enabled me to do this.
Because there had not previously been a direct line manager, the department I had responsibility for was in a mess when I took it over. I had not gone into the team all guns blazing. My listening and empathy skills enabled me to develop good relationships with team members. Back then, I was not aware of the strengths associated with introversion. I didn’t even know I was introverted (although I did know I was quiet), because I knew little about personality traits.
Risk averse
Having started working within the criminal justice system, I took a keen interest in law and began studying with the Institute of Legal Executives. I planned to become a solicitor via the legal executive route.
Upon completing my studies, I was offered a role by the managing partners from a law firm who frequently visited the court where I worked. They were opening a conveyancing department and wanted me to head it. It would have meant an initial salary drop, but I was told I would eventually far exceed anything I could ever earn working in the courts.
However, I had recently gone through a separation and had become a single mum. As a single mum with a young child and a mortgage, I didn’t want to risk taking an initial drop in salary. Plus, I thought the organisation I worked in offered more security.
As such, I declined the offer, gave up my plans to become a solicitor, and decided to pursue a leadership career in the organisation where I worked, which I did. I went on to be promoted a further four times before I left the organisation to complete an MSc Coaching Psychology and start my business.
It is said that introverts are more risk averse and perhaps this explains why I turned down the role at the law firm. Before taking a risk, I like to analyse a situation, and will take a risk if it is calculated. I didn’t consider myself risk averse at the time, but on leaving employment, and starting my business, my business mentor told me I was.
Misunderstood
Being introverted, I was at times misunderstood by peers and those more senior who didn’t know me well. At times I was told I should speak up more in area leadership meetings about the good things my group was doing. However, I didn’t believe in speaking up just for the sake of speaking. If I had something of value to add, I would speak.
Back then self-promotion was something that some people did without labelling it that. It was not an idea conceptualised for career and leadership influence and advancement. I see why research shows extraverts receive more opportunities in the workplace because their performance is more visible having experienced it myself.
Introverts are less likely to speak up about their successes and achievements, so their performance is not as visible as extraverts. Hence extraverts get more opportunities. I wonder whether the same applies to being considered underperformers because they do not speak up and make a fuss about challenges experienced. Something I can relate to.
My calm, quiet nature was at times misconstrued. A colleague once told my line manager that I did not care. My group was going through a challenging time due to a reduced budget and headcount but expected to deliver the same level of performance.
Thankfully, my line manager knew me well and we had a great relationship. She knew the claim couldn’t be further from the truth and that I was passionate about my work and my teams. Imagine if she didn’t!
Introverted strengths
I developed good relationships with stakeholders, and team members (both direct and indirect reports). One of my assistant managers was finding it challenging to get staff from across the group to join a working group to form part of an initiative we wanted to implement.
I went around the group and got a good sign-up. I believe this was due to the rapport I had developed with staff, and I made time to listen. I developed good working relationships with stakeholders who had been deemed ‘difficult’. This positively impacted many areas of the business.
Looking back, I see my introverted strengths at play in these situations. I recognise that throughout my leadership career, it was when utilising those strengths that I thrived, and my teams thrived.
Not always having a sense of belonging
As a Black, introverted, neurodiverse woman, single mum, and daughter of immigrants from a working-class background (who at that point hadn’t been to university), the more senior I got, the more I found myself in spaces where I did not feel like I belonged at times.
Attending meetings with white, senior members of the judiciary, and senior leaders from other criminal justice agencies, from more privileged backgrounds, I often experienced a lack of belongingness. As a result, imposter syndrome would rear its head.
During this time, I didn’t have the knowledge, understanding, and years of research about introversion and working with introverted leaders that I now have. I didn’t feel I could be my authentic self and had myself bought into the misconceptions about introversion.
As an area leadership team, we did the Myers-Briggs test together. My results were ISTJ. I counted and recounted my scores because I did not want to be associated with introversion. To make it worse, we had to go into a part of the room depending on what our results were.
I held my head down in shame and reluctantly dragged myself to the introvert corner. Because of the negative connotations associated with introversion and extraversion seen as the ideal, I did not want to own it.
Becoming introvert and proud
It was on leaving employment and completing an MSc Coaching Psychology when I started studying Carl Jung’s work on introversion and extraversion (I have been on a journey studying it since).
I realised that introversion is nothing to be ashamed of. I recognised the strengths of introversion. I owned it and I became introvert and proud. Finally, I could be my authentic self. The more I became my authentic self, the more I saw personal growth and gained inner confidence.
What has your journey been as an introverted leader? Do you relate to any of mine? I would love to know so let me know below. And if you would like to share your story on my Quietly Visible Podcast and inspire others, you can apply to do so here.
