Brushing our teeth at least twice a day is something ingrained in us from the moment we cut our first teeth. Then by the time we are adults, it is second nature and we do it automatically without hardly giving it any thought. Children are taught this because of the importance our oral health has on our overall health.
If only the same level of attention was given to our thought life. Our thought life is linked to our emotional, physical, and spiritual health, but we are not trained to take care of it.
I coach many introverted senior leaders who are stressed, experience imposter syndrome, self-doubt, a lack of self-confidence, and who have a poor work-life balance. And they all have one thing in common when they first come to me for coaching. They give little thought to their thought life, and how rational or irrational the thoughts they have about themselves are.
Going from meeting to meeting, activity to activity without pausing to examine their thoughts. As a result, they end up second guessing themselves in meetings, using apologetic language, and by the end of the day, feel too exhausted to fully engage with their families and loved ones.
If this describes you, how much attention do you give to your thought life? You wouldn’t leave the house to go to work without brushing your teeth, so why not give your thoughts about yourself (which are going to impact your performance, your productivity, and your self-confidence) the level of attention needed too.
The busier we are, the easier it is to not give ourselves thinking and reflective space. As someone who is introverted, it is important that you give yourself this time because being in certain environments and situations can be overstimulating.
If you constantly rush from the bedroom to the virtual boardroom first thing in the morning (whilst working from home), it’s not surprising you feel stressed, experience imposter syndrome, a lack of confidence, and a poor work/life balance. You are not giving yourself thinking space.
To address this and get back in control, give your thought life the importance that it deserves.
Schedule thinking time into your day
Make an appointment with yourself and schedule thinking time into your day. Protect the time by scheduling it as a meeting in your calendar so none of your team can put other appointments in the time slot allocated.
Use that time to think about what you are thinking about. This doesn’t mean spending the time ruminating over your worries. Think about the day ahead and prepare yourself mentally for it. Reflect on the previous day, how it went, how you responded to the things life and work threw at you, and why you responded the way you did. Give yourself an emotional check over and regulate your emotions for the day ahead.
Writing your thoughts down in a journal is great for self-reflection and increasing your self-awareness. It helps you to get a better understanding of yourself and to separate the truth from the untruth in your mind, and the rational from the irrational. It has been said that the more senior your job title is, the more you need to keep a journal.
Don’t schedule back-to-back meetings
Running to and from back-to-back meetings won’t do you any good mentally, emotionally, or physically. Clients tell me that since they have been working from home, they attend more back-to-back meetings. People must think that because you no longer have to travel to meetings, they can cram more in.
At least when travelling to and from meetings you got time to pause, think and reflect. Whereas with virtual, back-to-back meetings, people are hardly even getting the time for a bathroom break.
If you have no control or influence over the way meetings are scheduled, make sure you have moments where you can recharge throughout the day. Also review whether you need to go to so many meetings.
Preparation time
Preparation time before meetings or other overstimulating environments is key. Speaking performance in meetings is one of the biggest challenges for a lot of introverted leaders, yet many don’t give themselves enough preparation time because they are so busy.
However, by preparing in advance, you will reap the benefits. Whether it is a 1 to 1 meeting or a board meeting, preparing in advance enables you to do a lot of your thinking beforehand. This makes it easier to respond to those on-the-spot questions, to feel confident, and to exude presence.
Build energisers into your day
Get to know what energises you and what depletes your energy. When we are depleted in energy, we are more likely to have irrational thoughts that limit us. What are the things that help you energise during your day?
For some of my clients this is being in nature, doing some gardening, stroking their cat, going for a walk, listening to music, having a power nap, going for a swim, sitting in silence for 10 minutes without any distractions, and more. How can you build more of what energises you into your day?
If your life feels like you’re always busy, always on the go, doubting yourself and experiencing imposter syndrome, a lack of confidence, or other self-limiting beliefs, maybe it is time for you to fire up yourself by giving some thought to what you think about.
How do you manage your thought life? Or is it something you’ve previously given little thought to? Let me know below.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.
