“We convince, by our presence”. ~ Walt Whitman
This is the third in the series to help you to be in the best position for pursuing your next leadership promotion. The previous two articles in this series can be found at:
This week it is all about exuding presence.
Many introverted women who are leaders think that to get to the c-suite, they need to be more gregarious, more vocal, and more extroverted. This is often based on the premise that here in the UK, the US, and many other parts of the world, we live in what Susan Cain (author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Won’t Stop Talking) the extrovert ideal.
That is, a widely held belief that the ideal self is alpha, gregarious, and comfortable being in the spotlight. Something typically associated with extroversion. Whereas some countries such as China, Japan, and certain Nordic countries value introversion as a leadership quality.
Short of relocating to one of the locations that value introversion, and without putting on an extroverted persona and trying to be something that you are not, having a presence that screams ‘I’m a leader’, IS possible if you are an introverted woman.
You don’t need to be loud to stand out as a leader, but you do need to have presence. Having presence enables you to command the room and get people’s attention. It’s all about the way you show up, the way you are perceived, and the impact you make. To exude presence, you need to be visible, communicate assertively, speak up, and be influential. And you need to do this confidently.
Be visible
Research shows that extroverted employees receive more opportunities at work because their performance is more visible. Visibility is very much a necessity for leaders these days and particularly if you want your next promotion. But for many introverted leaders, it is something that they are not comfortable with. Many introverted women don’t necessarily want to be in the spotlight. Also, a lot of the activities associated with being visible can be overly stimulating for them and drain their energy.
Rather than experiencing tiara syndrome (i.e., expecting that your work will speak for itself, and you get the recognition for it), raise your visibility. If you want to get that promotion you will need to find a way to make sure you and your performance is visible. I will cover self-promotion (something many women don’t like doing) and networking in next week’s newsletter, in the meantime, start thinking about how you can raise your visibility, and start putting your thoughts into action.
And whilst you’re thinking about raising your visibility, think about your appearance as well. Whilst we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, the reality is, people do. This doesn’t mean you have to change who you are or change your cultural identity. Don’t dress for the role you are in, dress for the role you aspire to, is a saying I heard many years ago that still rings true today.
Be Assertive
Assertiveness is a core communication skill. It entails being able to relay your message (spoken or written) to others in a way that is direct, but diplomatic and respectful. Would you describe yourself as passive, aggressive, or assertive?
If you are too passive, people are likely to walk all over you, or not see you as senior leadership material. If you are aggressive, you can come across as a being a bully and being controlling. The kind of leader that people want to avoid. Being passive-aggressive is not helpful either.
If you find it challenging to be assertive, identify what the reason for that is. I find that fear is often at the root of why someone lacks assertiveness. This could be a fear of rejection, or imposter syndrome and a fear of being found out that they are not good enough.
What is at the root of it for you? Reflect on situations where you are assertive, and ask yourself what is different? It might be that there is a particular type of person or situation where you find it hard to assert yourself. If so, by pinning it down to what it is, makes it easier to address.
Speak up
Whether it is in a meeting, an interview, networking, or other situation, speaking up is one of the biggest challenges for introverted women leaders. This is because of being put on the spot and thinking they haven’t got the time to process their thoughts before giving a response.
The thought of this can make them feel anxious, and as a result, negatively affect their speaking performance. They then don’t speak up as and when they would like, or speak up, but because they are feeling anxious, don’t come across as confident or assertive.
Addressing speaking anxiety will help you to feel calmer and more confident. Recognising that you have a preference for processing your thoughts before speaking means you can put strategies in place so that you speak up and speak out. If you look through previous Quietly Visible newsletters, you will find tips and techniques that will help you with this.
Be influential
Being influential is about getting others to willingly buy into you and what you want them to do. Influencing is not manipulating, coercing, forcing, tricking, deceiving, or brainwashing. You want to be able to appeal to them on an intellectual and emotional level. People need to feel like they can trust you.
To do this develop rapport, listen, communicate effectively, and let them see the benefits of what it is that you are ‘selling’. Develop your self-awareness so that you have an awareness of the impact you have on other people. You can then modify your behaviour as necessary.
Finally, to have presence, remember you need to be present. Be in the moment and don’t let your mind race ahead worrying about how you are coming across.
The next part of this series will be about aligning yourself for what you want to achieve.
First published on LinkedIn.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here.
