We often try to change who we are in order to fit in at work. I see this happen often. Examples include some women who think they have to be more aggressive when they get into senior leadership roles. Or people who are introverted who think they have to put on an extraverted persona. Or people from the global majority who think they have to code switch in order to fit in or get on.
As the only woman in the senior leadership team, a client felt she was not being taken seriously when she came up with ideas and suggestions for areas of development for the organisation. She felt that she was constantly being shut down. She would act in ways that were not her in order to get her voice heard, and didn’t feel like she was being true to herself
I once received an email from a woman who had only been at her organisation for a few months. She said that the description of her role was very enticing, but the toxic culture of the organisation was starting to take its toll on her, and she felt that she could not be herself at work.
She realised what would happen if she continued working in that environment and wanted to do something about it. I commended her for recognising the impact that this was having on her and for taking action at such an early stage, whilst she had the confidence and strength to do so.
Unfortunately, there are many people who don’t do anything and stay in that environment for years. They then become stuck in a rut, their confidence is knocked, and they get to the stage where they feel that they cannot do anything else. With their resilience low, they find it challenging to do something about it. Often it is at this stage when they come to me for coaching.
Working in a toxic environment where you are continuously not being true to yourself will eventually take its toll.
Heightened self-awareness will enable you to be aware of who you are and how you fit in with the culture of the organisation, and how it impacts you. For example, if you are a person of integrity, working for an organisation that lacks it, or if you are a person that likes autonomy but works in an oppressive environment.
An increased self-awareness will also enable you to be aware of how what you do impacts others. It may be necessary to adapt your style according to the individual or situation that you are dealing with, however, do it in ways that are authentic to you.
If the ‘politics’ of the organisation don’t allow you to be yourself (and you are unable to influence change), you feel the pressure from it, and it is stressful, it might be time to think about looking elsewhere. And whilst you are looking, make sure you practice self-care so that you protect yourself from the toxicity of the environment.
What is your experience of working in an environment where you felt that you could not be your true self?
First published on LinkedIn.
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